A Few Small Knives
featuring my favorite critical comments from a recent Esquire pocket knife round-up
Esquire recently republished a pocket knife article I wrote last year, retitling it “Esquire’s 7 Favorite Pocket Knives to Buy Right Now.” This is relatively standard practice in the commerce writing world, especially when a piece has done some traffic.
A year is enough time to forget what I wrote, so I re-read it. A year is also enough time for the hamster wheel of self-doubt to quiet down enough to appreciate something I wrote—or at least read it more objectively. A few nice lines surprised me.1 A whole lot of stream-of-consciousness wordiness didn’t, but we can’t win them all.
There was a bigger surprise than my own, occasionally decent, turn of phrase. Comments. Apparently, you can comment on Esquire pieces. A frantic and random audit of my byline showed that this was the only piece with comments. I had no choice but to ignore the standard advice and read them.
They were as delightful as I hoped. And the roller coaster I anticipated —knife people are passionate.2 Of the handful that commented on the piece, most shared that passion constructively, using their comments to wax eloquently about their favorite knives, the digital equivalent of a campfire story. Others were not as kind or as constructive. They were personally affronted that I would have the gall to recommend, in their sacrosanct opinion as anonymous internet people, the wrong knives.
Here are my two favorites:
spaceamaze1114
Too big and single-minded, all, unless you’re looking to hurt someone. When I was a kid they sold a trim trio for I believe 20 cents, maybe a quarter. It had a blade, bottle opener /slot-head screwdriver, and a nail file with a pointy end. In Los Angeles with my former business partner and his sister driving, the hose to the radiator overheated and blew as she put only water in without antifreeze. Pulled out my trim trio, cut the hose, unscrewed the clamp, reattached everything, poured what water we had left into the radiator with the engine running, and off we went to the next gas station. She used antifreeze from then on and never repaired my work. I was legend after that. This little beauty would be the best knife to keep in your pocket, but sadly, no longer available, except for really cheap knockoffs on eBay. I have found the Gerber Vise to be small, versatile and very useful, but a bit bulkier than the old trim-trio
and #2
19i4065
Other than the Opinel, the knives listed, while not overpriced for the sort of steel that they use, aren’t necessarily the best that money can buy, value wise. What is the best pocket knife depends on its intended use. The James Brand, Benchmade, and Giant Mouse are good companies with good products, but $200-plus for an edc sort of defeats the purpose of an edc. There are excellent knives with great steel, like VG10 Japanese stainless, A90, and even cutting-edge (pun not intended) Magna-Cut that are available from very reputable knife makers for $150 and a lot less. Part of the expense of most of the knives listing is due to the fact they’re US made. Yet nearly every US bases knife manufacturer has access to off-shore manufacturing, in China, Japan, and Taiwan, where there is great craftsmanship. To me, again, other than the Opinel, which is made in France using Swedish stainless steel, the rest of the list appears arbitrary with little research done, other than looking at websites of online knife sellers to see what looked cool. Try again.
Now, there’s the very real possibility that I’m being trolled. But it’s more likely that the SEO gods brought this article to an audience outside of Esquire’s normal circulation. This is, after all, Esquire, not Field & Stream or Tactical Knives Quarterly. I’m writing knife reviews for an audience who dabbles in bespoke suits and four-thousand-dollar Métier bags. Like most commerce writers and editors, I take that into account.3 These commenters didn’t.
We could have fun psychoanalyzing them — the “I was legend [sic] after that” from the first and, in the second, the suggestion that US-manufactured knife companies all have access to offshore manufacturing that they’re refusing to utilize in a plot to drive up prices. Instead, let’s take their feelings seriously, like their parents clearly didn’t. In particular, spaceamaze1114's initial admonishment of “too big and single-minded” and 19i4065’s final curt directive to “Try again.”
Let’s do it.
Here are the six smallest knives I could find. Most are under $20, all of them are under $100. Five I’ve tried, and one, I confess, I did add to this list arbitrarily, with little research done, mostly because it looked cool online. Please leave a comment to tell me how wrong I am.
Opinel No. 02 ($14)
Opinel is my favorite knife brand and will always be so, especially after an incredible visit to the headquarters in the French Alps last year.4 The Opinel No. 02 is the cutest knife you can buy, and the colors are superb. I bought a handful last Christmas and gave them out as stocking gifts to everyone but my children. Next year, they might get one too.
The James Brand Elko ($65)
James relaunched this knife today, and I was lucky enough to get an early sample. Small but deadly, the Elko 2.0 shows the brand’s signature dedication to getting the little things right. I profiled the brand’s full catalog late last year, and the Elko fits right in (yes, I did just link a third Esquire article I wrote. Sorry. Probably the last. Maybe not). It’s wildly lightweight, delightfully tiny, dangerously sharp, and perfect for your keychain.
Americana Pipedream Higonokami Folder ($18)
I’m a long-time Americana Pipedream (WE SELL SURP) IG follower and only recently a customer. I bought this knife alongside a Swedish overcoat and a bunch of other things I haven’t told my wife about yet. I did not realize this knife would be so small. A victim of my own surplus spending spree. Thankfully, it’s small but delightful. Mine is the 1.5-inch blade, in brass, with a tiny little bell on it. It’s cheap and adorable and an excellent letter opener. The only challenge is keeping track of it in the kitchen junk drawer.
Gerber Paraframe Mini ($13)
I found this knife in a parking lot during a winter backpacking trip in Northern Michigan’s Manistee National Forest. It’s traveled the world with me since, accidentally going through New Zealand’s version of TSA, only for a friendly Kiwi inspector to unfold it, stare at the minuscule blade, look me in the eye and say, “Not really a knife, is it?” and return it to my bag. I’ll keep it for the rest of my life. I routinely lose it, and it routinely reappears. It might actually be magic.
Victorinox Waiter ($23)
This is the first knife I ever bought. It’s out of stock on Victorinox’s site and surprisingly hard to find if you don’t remember its name.5 I bought it for a semester in England and a subsequent trip around Europe because it had all the essential tools I imagined my life would require: a blade, a bottle opener, and a corkscrew. I, like most 19-year-olds, was slightly insufferable. It succeeded in cutting a wheel of brie under the Eiffel tower, but failed to open a bottle of cheap red wine, which I proceeded to use a hiking boot to pop open via internal pressure and repeated knocking, finally popping the cork and bubbling over like a university student’s discount version of champagne.
Fishwife Fish Knife ($15)
I have not (yet) bought this knife, but it is tiny, it is shaped like a fish, and it comes in imitation sardine packaging. It looks very cool online. Shit, okay. I just bought it. I will report back.
“Modern life requires fewer and fewer tools and more and more chargers. That’s to everyone’s detriment.”
Likely why the article did enough traffic to republish in the first place
I also did test every one of the knives I wrote up in Esquire, but I’m hiding that particular rebuttal in the footnotes so I can appear nonchalant
Self-promotion waits for no man
Which I didn’t
My favorite two sentences here are:
--When the TSA inspector says, “Not really a knife, is it?”
--And your response, the very next sentence: "I’ll keep it for the rest of my life."
Terrific!
The Victorinox waiter was also my first knife and I bought the Higonokami in Japan last fall. Definitely need to pick up the Opinel!